and have acted on that feedback.One of the things people asked for was a slower pace. That always pisses me off when I'm reading or watching a show. I want people to get to the point and then move on to the next one. On the other hand, I'm not reading these stories; I'm writing them.
Another thing that people asked for was a clearer sense of transition between scenes and the passage of time between scenes. That I can understand. I'm trying to write these stories in kind of a Hollywood style - short scenes with frequent breaks. However, Hollywood has something on me: you can see when the setting has changed dramatically, whether it's a change in scenery or the time of day, it's immediately visible to you when there's a new scene.
I've entered a new edition of the first episode into the Kindle store. The story text is exactly the same. The only difference to the text in edition 1 is that I've corrected some formatting issues that appear on the original Kindle and I've deleted the trio of asterisks that indicate a scene cut.
In the place of the scene cut markers, I have added some of Daniel's field notes. Of course, it would be cumbersome to saddle the story with an entire field journal, so these are just a few choice entries indexed at times in between scenes. It should be pretty obvious how they work.
To give you a feel for how the field notes work, here is a sample:
They aren't meant to be the story. They are just meant to slow the story down and facilitate the transition between two scenes.02.07.2012 1644Chopper landing now.- Col. Baker- doesn’t want me to know 1st name- Frank Hansen-big guyCouldn’t get everyone’s name... too loud & group not forthcoming. Would have been nice to know.Jerry fucked up - looks like we have to run.
As always, I'm interested in what anyone has to say about these and don't forget to fill out this five-question survey when you're done reading.
Thank you.
